CELEBRATE THE LITTLE VICTORIES/AUTOMATED ME

Things I have noticed so far in the first 48 hours of eating Paleo:

1. I feel lighter. I don't feel as gross/bloated/fatty fatty boombalatty.
2. I ran longer yesterday during workout before I started walking
3. My workout was gnarly last night and I totally expected to wake up hurting like a mother effer, but I feel fantastic.

Ok so upon the advice of a friend, and in an effort to remain in a positive mindset, I am going to celebrate every single little victory. Every time I consciously don't make a bad choice, I am going to pat myself on the back and purposefully smile a great big smile. One of our employees resigned effective today. He brought several boxes of warm Krispy Kreme doughnuts with him to his exit interview. Normally I would have had 3. I didn't have any...I did curse at him in my head, but I smiled politely and eeked out a "No Thank You". I turned down Krispy Kreme and all of their super sweet ooey gooey chewy warm melty yumminess. That,  my friends, is a victory in and of itself. Then the phone rang...turns out my daughter kinda sorta ditched her last period class and wasn't where she was supposed to be. That lit the fuse and mommy was pissed and on fire. My co worker's survival instincts kicked in and he immediately ran for the vending machine and deposited his 50 cents and out popped a pretty little blue and white package of 6 little Oreo turds of deliciousness. So much for me kicking him 100 bucks for supporting me on this Paleo thing. There was no way I was going to let his 50 cents destroy my chances at $4100. Again, I smiled and politely said "No Thank You". Then I told him he was a total and complete ass (he is genetically predisposed to this ailment, he is male). Instead, I reached in the fridge here in the office and pulled out my new definition of "sweets". I had an orange and a handful of strawberries. HA!!! TAKE THAT!!!

Shortly after, I had to head down the hallway to take care of some business in payroll. I got the answer to my question, turned in some necessary forms and immediately sunk my hand into the bowl on the counter filled with Kit Kat and Snickers bites. WHAT WAS I THINKING??? That's the thing, I wasn't. It was such a natural thing for me to do...like I was on autopilot. I'm not that girl anymore, not today. I'm in control of me...and it feels great!

"Garlic fries don't give a shit about your health" / Body Fat Percentage

hahahaha...The title cracks me up...more on that in a minute.

As you can see I have been absent for a couple of days. I decided to only blog on days I work because I want to spend my days off out and about, being active and having adventures. Plus, blogging at work keeps me focused on my goals and not on the jar of candy sitting on my coworkers desk. I told him I would pay him 100 bucks if he doesn't offer me sweets and crap and I win the challenge. Kinda sucks that I have to bribe people to support me, but whatever. So yeah, a couple of days off...and I failed miserably. I failed so miserably in fact that I think I ate worse than ever, including several trips to Baskin Robbins for chocolate peanut butter ice cream. Good god, the thought of it makes my mouth water. Even after all that, and after weighing in and getting all of my loveliness squeezed and calibrated with the little fat calipers, I still tried to convince my coach that I needed garlic fries at the Dodger game last night. I mean what's a Dodger game without a Dodger Dog and garlic fries? His response: "Do you deserve them?" No, of course not, I have been a miserable failure all weekend, but I kinda do because, well I mean they're garlic fries and I love them. Then coach told me "Garlic fries don't give a shit about your health" (this made  me want to roll around on the floor laughing) and some other stuff that I didn't really hear because I was still laughing inside my brain about the garlic fries until I heard something about being a "rad mom" and that got me focusing again. I want to be a rad mom (I'm totally on the verge of radness already). I want to break the cycle. I want to teach my daughter now, at 13, how she should eat for the rest of her life. If I can save her from this lifelong battle then I'll do it all day every day....It's not just me that I'm doing this for...It's also for my mom, my, daughter, for my boyfriend, for the money, it's because I can't remember what it feels like to wear a bathing suit. Because I want to shop at forever 21 and embarrass the crap out of my daughter by wearing stuff that is too young for my age. I want to look fantastic on my wedding day (when he finally asks...I already know dammit!!!) and have a couple more healthy babies...this is just the beginning. 89.5 days left....

Oh and here's my magic number...my body fat percentage. I'm not going to blabber on and on about it and analyze and make excuses...it is what it is....but not for loooooooooong!!!

39.3%

Ch-Ch-Choices

Ok so I'm not going to lie...last night was kind of a killjoy. I went to work out and by the time I was done with my WOD at Team Crossfit Academy, I was on the verge of tears. At the beginning of class we heard more about the Paleo Challenge, and that 41 women are now signed up. Immediately the self doubt started to creep in and I started to wonder what I had gotten myself into. My entire workout, this is what I was thinking: These women that I will be competing against in this weight loss challenge are BAD ASSES, ATHLETES and COMPETITORS. They are runners and weight lifters. They do pull ups unassisted and push ups from the toes. I get winded running to the corner, I use 2 assist bands for pull ups and can barely eek out 5 push ups from my knees. Don't even get me started on the lame 4 inch box that I am scared to jump on. I am, for the most part, always in last place. So maybe I shouldn't even bother...I mean there is SO MUCH work to be done, I have such a long road ahead of me. Do you understand now why I was on the verge of tears while I was trying to keep up during work out?

So I have a choice to make...every day, every minute actually we all have choices to make. I can listen to the voice in my head saying that it's too much work, that I'm not going to win, and go back to eating cheeseburgers and chocolate peanut butter ice cream from Baskin Robbins because it's "safe', it's comfortable and it's what I know. Or, I can take a moment to breathe, acknowledge that negative little voice inside my head, and change it's mind. Of course it's going to be a long road, nothing that's worth it is ever easy. Yes, there's a lot of work to be done...I've led a sedentary lifestyle for 33 years and ate anything and everything I wanted to for the same amount of time...but the work is not going to do itself. I mean wake up every morning and look in the mirror and I'm not getting any skinnier...the fat fairy isn't going to come tonight and take away 3 extra chins and the extra loveliness from my inner thighs and belly. It's not going to happen. There is no one single choice I can make that will magically transform my body into what I want it to be. It has to be one choice at a time. That's what got me to this point, one wrong choice after another...so I know for a fact that one right choice after another can lead me away from this place....

I will do this...

Last night's dinner:  Chipotle: salad, no rice, no beans, with fajita veggies, chicken, pico de gallo and a little corn.

Breakfast: 2 hardboiled eggs, 1/2 of a small avocado, and a handful of olives.

Lunch: 1 zucchini, 1 yellow squash, the other 1/2 of the avocado.

Day 1

So I decided to start eating Paleo effective last night. I went to Henry's and loaded my cart up with all sorts of stuff. I bought broccoli, zucchini, cauliflower, yellow squash, chicken, bacon, avocados, green bell peppers, macadamia nuts, cashews, jalapenos, apples, strawberries and some other stuff I can't remember right now. For dinner we had jalapeno poppers for a little appetizer. These are jalapenos stuffed with Abra's famous "nut cheese". They were tasty. We also had "Paleo Fried Chicken" which is basically a chicken breast dredged in egg and almond flour and fried up with a little bit of olive oil. Some zucchini and squash rounded out the meal. It was satisfying and my anti-paleo boyfriend even said he liked it. He has agreed to eat whatever I cook on this challenge and said he won't eat garbage around me, so he will benefit from my choices too. I totally planned ahead and packed my breakfast/lunch/snack last night so it was bagged up and ready to go this morning. For breakfast I had 1/2 of a leftover paleo fried chicken breast and 1/2 of an avocado. Lunch was more leftovers...the other half of the chicken breast, the other half of the avocado and more zucchini/squash. I cut the cream out of my morning coffee, and have had 2 bottles of water. This is my usual afternoon slump. This would usually be when I head to the break room to get Oreo's out of the vending machine. Have no fear!!! I planned ahead and instead of oreos I will be satisfying the sweettoothbeast within with 5 of the most glorious looking strawberries. I'm going to head to The Academy after work and see if I can weigh in and get measured. I'm debating on whether or not I will post the details. I mean, do I really want the entire world knowing how much I actually weigh? I know ya'll aren't stupid, and if I was really 135 (like it says on my drivers license) then I probably wouldn't be in this situation. I think that in order to accurately track my progress, I'm going to have to. Maybe I shouldn't be dreading sharing this info with the world. After all, the higher the number, the more successful I can be! Stay tuned...

This has to stop

I've been thinking about this 90 day Paleo Challenge alot. In fact it has basically consumed my thoughts all weekend. I am tired of being a fat ass. I've actually been tired for a long time. The only problem is, I love food. I love all of the things that are bad for me. Cheese, fried stuff, soda, beer, mmmmm beer. Not only do I love it, I love it frequently. I have been living the fast food lifestyle ever since I can remember. Basically every meal for me is fast food, it's ridiculous. I eat this crap then wonder why I can't be cute and fun like the skinny girls. I don't want to be skinny anymore. I just want to be healthy. lt has become more and more obvious that the only thing that is going to help me lose weight/get healthy is to monitor what I put in my mouth. I cannot continue to eat crap and think that just because I work out a couple of times a week that I'm going to wake up one day skinny as hell with a rock hard ass. Not happening. So I decided I'm going to do it. I'm going to completely change my diet and eating habits and I'm going to eat like a cave man for 90 days. Starting today...or so I thought. So, remember how this has been consuming my thoughts all weekend? Yeah well I've basically been taking a foodie tour of southern california eating everything I possibly can that I know I'm going to "miss" on this challenge. For my "last meal' I went to Jack In The Box for lunch today because weigh in/measuring is tonight. This is what I ate:

1. Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger
2. Medium Size Curly Fries
3. Regular Size Dr. Pepper
4. Regular Size Oreo Cookie Shake.

I actually can't believe I am writing it down for the world to see. It's kind of embarrasing. What's even more embarassing is that I just discovered that the Challenge doesn't start until next Monday, the 28th. I don't care though. I'm going to start tonight anyway...I think. Here goes nothin'...it's just one choice at a time, right?